Promises
by tears-of-crystal
Summary: Some promises no one can keep. Remus remembers a promise given to him in a time of peril and fear.


A/N: I've had this one written and typed for a while and decided to post it. Enjoy.

"_Anything, Rem, anything you want, I promise I'll give it to you."_

Remus walked alone through the fields surrounding his house, long overgrown with leaves, dappled with moonlight. Words, roughly shoved to the back of his mind, quickly came flooding back in a rush of emotion. A breath of cold wind blew rapidly past, ruffling Remus's sandy hair and whipping his cloak about, chilling him. With a sigh, he sat down on a worn stone bench.

_Can you sell me the air that passed_

_Through your fingers_

_And hit your face and undid your hair?_

_Maybe you could sell me five dollars' worth of wind,_

_Or more, perhaps sell me a cyclone?_

_Maybe you would sell me_

_The thin air, the air_

_(not all of it) that sweeps_

_into your garden blossom on blossom_

_into your garden for the birds,_

_ten dollars of pure air._

_The air it turns and passes_

_With butterfly- like spins._

_No one owns it, no one._

The chilly wind passed as quick as it had come and the garden was still once more. Playing idly with the fraying edges of his cloak, Remus turned weary, lonesome eyes to the sky and watched the stars twinkle, particularly one.

_Can you sell me some sky,_

_The sky that's blue at times,_

_Or gray again at times,_

_A small part of your sky,_

_The one you bought- you think- with all the trees_

_Of your orchard, as one who buys their ceiling with the house?_

_Can you sell me a dollar's worth_

_Of sky, two miles_

_Of sky, a fragment of your sky,_

_Whatever piece you can?_

_The Sky is in the clouds._

_The clouds are high, they pass._

_No one owns them, no one._

Remus blinked as a cold raindrop hit his cheek. Raising his palms face up, he felt the drops as it began to rain. Pulling his hood up over his head, Remus sprinted to the small gazebo in the heart of the garden. When he reached it, he lowered his hood and shook his slightly damp hair out of his eyes. Memories flashed through Remus's mind as he extended a hand to trail lightly down the deep, red wood. He and Sirius, and James sometimes, had spent many summer nights during and after Hogwarts here, talking, just talking.

_Can you sell me some rain, the water_

_That has given you your tears and wets your tongue?_

_Can you sell me a dollar's worth of water _

_From a spring, a pregnant cloud,_

_As soft and graceful as a lamb,_

_Or even water fallen on the mountain,_

_Or water gathered in the ponds_

_Abandoned to the dogs,_

_Or one league of the sea, a lake perhaps,_

_A hundred dollars' worth of lake?_

_The water falls, it runs._

_The water runs, it passes._

_No one holds it, no one._

Suddenly, angry tears burst from Remus's eyes. His thin shoulders shook with sobs of frustration, fear, anger, and loneliness. He didn't know how long it had been now that he had held all of it inside. Fisting his hands in his hair, Remus poured out all of his emotion in a heart-wrenching yell, kicking the banister of the gazebo's steps.

"Why did you promise me that, Sirius!?! You can't give me anything I want, can you? Can you give me happiness? Can you give me your freedom?" he yelled, voice hoarse. Remus took in a sharp breath. "Can you?" he cried desperately, voice cracking and high-pitched. Rubbing his hand over his eyes, he tried to calm himself down, tried to stop the sobs, whispering one last time, "Can you?"

A/N: Poem- Can You? By Nicolás Guillén. Translated by Robert Máquez. There is one more stanza to the poem, but it didn't fit with this story.

I've been on a Remus and Sirius kick lately. I seem to be focusing on Remus's pain. The first was after the Department of Mysteries incident. This one is just after Sirius is sent to Azkaban. I realize that Remus thought Sirius was the traitor at this point, but even if he did, he would still miss his best friend and be upset and angry about it all, so I think, despite what he believed, that Remus would have definitely strongly missed Sirius.

All this angst is coming to me a lot lately. My life is just upsetting me right now and I can't quite get my mind around it. Writing helps me cope with all the mess of thoughts and feelings in my head. Bear with me, happiness shall come soon.


End file.
